if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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