This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
