i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
