so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
