if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I want her autograph on my taint
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
