Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
