You can't motorboat a personality
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
