i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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