I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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