Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
