tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Sorry about my life...
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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