he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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