So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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