She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
