If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
