if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
