D3 body, D1 cock
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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