I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
