You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
