Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize