yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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