Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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