Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
