ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
