we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
