why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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