goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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