I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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