He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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