Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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