I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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