We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
