NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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