So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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