Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
