break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
