hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
