Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
She bit a glass in half.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
