I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
