Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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