Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
