the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
