dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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