Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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