He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Randomize
