You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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