capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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