i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
