I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize