you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
