I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
