you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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