Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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