I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
