I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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