What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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