He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
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