we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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