problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
There's always time for handjobs
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
where are my eyebrows?
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